More Government and More Laws Are Not the Answer to Every Aberration
by Lisa Baron
Unless you have been asleep, heavily medicated, or still in shock that K-Fed was legally deemed the more responsible parent in his marriage to Britney Spears, you've heard of California spawner Nadya Suleman -- the Octo-Mom. The super-breeder already had a half-dozen kids at home when she was implanted with six more embryos via in-vitro fertilization. One egg split and, bada-boom, nine months later she's got eight more kids and 10 times that number of TMZ photogs camped in her driveway.
"Where is the outrage?! Where is the outcry!? Where is the legislation?!" declared Georgia State Senator Ralph Hudgens (R-Hull). He decided that Georgia most definitely needed a law criminalizing what he would consider aggressive in-vitro fertilizations practices. His decree: If you are a woman over 40 years old you can implant no more than three embryos, and if you are under 40 the state of Georgia mandates you can only have two.
Here's a prison conversation I'd like to overhear inside the walls of a Georgia Correctional Facility:
Female Inmate #1: What are you in for?
Female Inmate #2: Aggravated assault and possession with the intent to distribute. You?
Female Inmate #1: I implanted three embryos in my body at the age of 36.
I have been a Republican my entire life – and proud of it. However, while I am a fiscal conservative, I am a social moderate. That being said, some of the finest people I know and respect are social conservatives who adhere to the philosophy that it's our responsibility as a society to protect the vulnerable. They do not see conservatism and compassion as diametrically opposed. They believe that we must give a voice to those who can't defend themselves.
That said, what bothers me about this bill is that it's a bill at all. Since when do Republicans believe we need more government, more laws on the books to fix problems?
Never mind that unemployment is incredibly high, community colleges are being threatened with elimination and honest, working-class families are losing their homes. We must do what it necessary to prevent an octo-mom in Georgia!
Hey, look, I'm freaked out by the Octo-Mom, too. I mean, when did she have time, as a mother of 14 to go for a fresh set of acrylic nails? I have one child under the age of 2 and I've had one manicure since he was born.
We can all agree that she's got a few loose screws rolling around in that Angelina Jolie look-alike head of hers, but that doesn't mean we need to pass laws in Georgia that would do nothing to punish some fruitcake in California and everything to punish moms and dads who desperately want to be parents but can't without the help of science, a physician and a turkey baster.
In the meantime, what had started as an egg of an idea was tossed over to the Senate Health and Human Services Committee, where it was fertilized by state Sen. Preston Smith (R-Rome) (whose contribution, thankfully, made some very significant changes to SB 169 DNA). And it's now morphed from fertility clinic legislation to a ban on embryonic stem cell research in Georgia. In other words, the bill made it out of committee and is well on its way to becoming a full-term law.
Sadly, this bill, if signed into law, would hurt families who want children but can't conceive on their own because it would make it:
A) illegal to discard embryos, or
B) force people to store them at an approximate annual cost of $500. Effectively, it would make it financially impossible for many married couples in Georgia to realize their dreams of becoming parents, not to mention the emotional and physical drain.
Here's the deal my fellow Republicans: If you want to have a legislative fight about abortion, then have a legislative fight about abortion. If you want to legislatively decide when life begins, then let's have a session devoted to this subject. But if you just want to implement laws that make behavior you don't like illegal, well, I have come up with a list of things I don't like:
When I send my husband with a detailed grocery list and he still calls me 25 times from the store with questions.
Women who are back to their pre-pregnancy size three weeks after giving birth (please make this a life-sentence).
More actors who want to launch singing careers.
Believing that more government, more laws are the answer to every aberration.
Let's get to work on these. Then we'll discuss embryonic law.
Lisa Baron is an Atlanta-based free-lance writer and regular television and radio contributor. [full bio]
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